I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize