Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
