Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize