Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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