So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
