I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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