Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just pee around me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
