I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
