I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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