Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
