youre lurking in front of me
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
