She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
