i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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