I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i came on her dog
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
