im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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