I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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