Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
