My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
