Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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