Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
