btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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