is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
