You really coming over, don't trick.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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