This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize