Got a toothbrush?
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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