he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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