Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex. http://tfl.nu/ut6h
  Replies (6) Good night (3515) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF http://tfl.nu/bxu6
  Replies (12) Good night (2239) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex. http://tfl.nu/kgv4
  Replies (5) Good night (2943) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Chicken burrito, or no deal.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Is that code for my vagina?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Chicken burrito, or no deal. (1-402): Is that code for my vagina? (402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito http://tfl.nu/ldfv
  Replies (30) Good night (4255) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement http://tfl.nu/es6t
  Replies (53) Good night (818) Bad night (4758)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions http://tfl.nu/l7zn
  Replies (43) Good night (6230) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations http://tfl.nu/lsw6
  Replies (6) Good night (5569) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth http://tfl.nu/mdm2
  Replies (13) Good night (1462) Bad night (4262)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry. http://tfl.nu/0y0u
  Replies (8) Good night (2562) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary. http://tfl.nu/eqex
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin. http://tfl.nu/tejt
  Replies (2) Good night (1165) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny. http://tfl.nu/z1it
  Replies (14) Good night (661) Bad night (2162)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys... http://tfl.nu/6y99
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real. http://tfl.nu/vkv3
  Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me http://tfl.nu/45vc
  Replies (2) Good night (682) Bad night (163)

Randomize