After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available