Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
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I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???