Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(586): View more from Michigan

You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot

(586): View more from Michigan

That was very cool/italian of you

(586): View more from Michigan

Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(586): You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot (586): That was very cool/italian of you (586): Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving http://tfl.nu/l4rm

Replies (11) Good night (1687) Bad night (643)
Favorite
(949): View more from California

Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(949): Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse? http://tfl.nu/h2ii

Replies (21) Good night (2892) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm. http://tfl.nu/s4sh

Replies (9) Good night (2715) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you. http://tfl.nu/te9j

Replies (23) Good night (5854) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!

(434): View more from Virginia

Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like! (434): Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE. http://tfl.nu/nxwj

Replies (8) Good night (750) Bad night (3401)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/bu0x

Replies (9) Good night (3560) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school. http://tfl.nu/ym74

Replies (7) Good night (7437) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/wo9k

Replies (11) Good night (1701) Bad night (4753) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either. http://tfl.nu/u7gs

Replies (15) Good night (1065) Bad night (5519) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina. http://tfl.nu/ugq6

Replies (14) Good night (3137) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/sa9o

Replies (10) Good night (1980) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous http://tfl.nu/9eck

Replies (3) Good night (382) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment http://tfl.nu/se99

Replies (4) Good night (1537) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head? (724): stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final. http://tfl.nu/zs0y

Replies (2) Good night (1251) Bad night (253)
Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/8bn2

Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: