be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize