Duck Duck Cougar?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You made out with two different species that night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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