doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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