He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
