i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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