ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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