found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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