Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
