Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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