she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
