i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize