dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish life had little blips of pornography
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
