You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
