She's JV to your varsity
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
