I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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