I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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