I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
