i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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