Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
