My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize