Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I had to cum in my sink.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
