Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
