Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
