Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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