Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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