Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
