And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
