After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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