i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
